The last time I took the daughter to a movie I forgot to stop at the local dollar-or-less store and buy candy to smuggle inside the pockets of my maybe a little too heavy for the weather hoodie.  This resulted in a payoff to the vendor of overpriced popped corn and liquid buttery sludge that left my wallet lighter than air. As long as I can remember, the prices for concessions at the theater have always been outrageous and it was accepted as the way theaters could make an actual profit because the fees associated with that blockbuster that brought in the customers left only a small percentage of the money made from ticket sales for the theater.  While I have my doubts about that, I wonder why there isn’t more security at the theater checking for food.


The last time I rode inside a tin can with wings I thought I could sneak through security with an unopened bottle of water in my backpack.  Didn’t work.  The unopened bottle of water got me taken to a separate screening area where every part of my backpack was emptied, searched, and swabbed to ensure it wasn’t coated in some sort of questionable substance.  Seemed to be a bit overkill, but on the plane I had an epiphany.  After I paid for an undersized bag of Chex Mix and a drink I was overcome with the astounding depth of this money making machine.  Airlines, like movie theaters, charge too much for tickets and then charge for bags as well with claims of how profit has to be made but most of the money goes to things like fuel and such…but now the food.  An elaborate security system that makes sure you can’t avoid the prices on their food.  You’re trapped in a box and can’t fulfill basic needs of your body (food and water) without their help – and oh you’re gonna pay for that.  It was genius!!  More and more security as a way to psychologically squeeze your pockets.  Take off your shoes – nope, no food in there.  Belt?  Not made of candy.  Pat down, no pocket canteen, you’re free to board the plane.  This clearly has to be the purpose of these stringent checks, stopping people from packing lunch, because it’s track record on stopping terrorists is so spotless and all, not to mention their 5% success rate at stopping weapons and bombs from being passed through when the Department of Homeland Security decided to conduct a test last year.

LA Mayor Villaraigosa Uses Airport Scanner At LAX
(Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)


Movie theater employees know you’re sneaking in food.  Even though it supposedly hurts their profit to not sell concessions, they turn a blind eye.  I’m sure it stands to reason there’s probably enough people that have a moral quandary  in regards to playing Han Solo with candy into a private business that can sell you food you don’t want at prices you can’t afford, but think of the increase in profits if you stopped it altogether.  Pat downs and security terminals with shoeless people shuffled from entrance to food service counter.  More jobs, more profit…it may not stop terrorism but it does protect capitalism.



3 thoughts on “MTSA: Movie Theater Security Administration

      1. No, really. I haven’t been to a movie since the first Tolkein one. I sat through it, thought to myself, “THIS is what entertainment has become?” and walked out forever. It’s been documentaries on You Tube ever since.


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