I’ve been condensing the ideas I developed during the most recent explorations. While I’m still trying to piece them together in ways that make sense to me, there are some ideas I want to explore.
One is the idea of missing someone. It’s amazing with the invention of social media how easy it is to convey an idea of longing for someone’s presence. It’s also astounding how frequently it holds the same weight as a salutation when it is meant to convey a concept greater in significance.
Namely, people will frequently tell you how much they miss you. People will offer friendly greetings of making plans when you’re in the area or mutual trips. Personal experience says that no matter how much you lay these things out in advance that only about 1/3 of the people you speak to (or less) actually mean them. Some people are more inclined to make a connection than others but everyone wishes to be polite enough to not be the one that lets you know that reality doesn’t permit for everyone you know to care as much for you as you do for them..
I’ve lived in a variety of places, often at least one thousand miles from where I knew people I cared about. I’ve been to war. I’ve traveled without guidance or support. Each time I step out in travel someone tells me how they’re looking forward to my arrival and there should be plans. At least 2/3 never happen. Never.
What does one deduce from this? Mostly that courtesy extends farther than meaning. In my mind this makes courtesy at least notably insincere and thus actually discourteous. If I’m traveling days to be in a place, if I shouldn’t count on you being a part of the trip then you shouldn’t distract me with your nonsense.